Christmas

Ever since I started coming to Italy and even after I moved I have always spent Christmas at "home" in America with my family. This of course all changed when we had our daughter three and a half years ago. I didn't feel bad being without my husband over Christmas before having her because we always had New Year's together. But I didn't feel that I could take our daughter away from him on this special day...of course not EVERY year. With my husbands job he is unable to travel around the holidays so I am faced with the choice of staying in Italy every year for Christmas or leaving him here with his family while I go to see mine. In the end it has come down to me and my daughter going to America every other year to spend it with my family. Of course it would be better if he would come with us, but that is just part of being married to an Italian farmer, you can't always have what you want when it come to travelling!

The reason why I've always gone "home" for the holidays is obvious I miss my family, and for me Christmas is the holiday of the year. One of the reasons Christmas is so important for me is the family traditions that my family has. I have fond memories of this time growing up. Every year we would go downtown for dinner with our family friends and visit Santa. We still do the dinner even if the Santa pictures have gone by the wayside. That is until this year! Finally I was able to take my daughter to see Santa!!! This wasn't the first year that we were able to spend Christmas in Seattle but it was the first year I was organized enough to do it! She was three and a half this year so we didn't have the terrified pictures with her screaming and red eyed. She actually thought Santa was great! As per family tradition my mother got her a beautiful Christmas dress for the pictures which she loved because she loves being "fancy" (she actually got two just in case she might need two Christmas dresses!...sure does help being the only grandchild!)

The other family tradition that I love so much is that my mother has always done Christmas Eve dinner at our house. I come from a very large family so our Christmas Eve dinners have always been big. I am the oldest of four and the second oldest of nine cousins on my dad's side and my mom's sister's family always comes too so that is two more cousins. Generally there are about twenty to twenty-five people for dinner. In the past few years this number has increased because friends with family far away have come to spend their holiday with us.

When we were children Santa would come to the house after dinner to deliver gifts (ours were always matching pajamas, another family tradition that continues to this day). Now we are all adults so Santa doesn't come to visit. Instead we have a gift lottery. Everyone brings a gift of $10 or less and puts it in a pile. Every person then draws a number and chooses a gift in that order, being able to choose from the pile of wrapped presents or "steal" from someone who has already opened a gift. Some of the presents are really nice and some not so nice, so it is always fun. To add to this fun my cousin brought a gift to the exchange that she had "re-gifted" about five or six years ago. It was a stocking holder but the awful part about it is that it is a canoe with Santa, Frosty and a random black bear in it. This "gift" has been recycled in the gift exchange every year since. (usually hidden from sight with a note wrapped in the box with something like "you are now the proud owner of the Christmas canoe".)

One tradition that I do miss is midnight Mass at the NPCC. A few years ago our pastor moved churches and it was hard to see him go, but for Christmas Eve we would merely go to his new church in West Seattle, but now that my parents have moved West Seattle is quite a drive and all of the local churches have their masses at nine which is very early.

Christmas morning usually consists of mom's homemade cinnamon rolls, mimosas and coffee and now we have a new latte stand that is open on the 25th so coffee has been replaced by lattes and mochas. We then open gifts and laze around the house until dinner when we go to our aunts house (now two blocks away) and enjoy French onion soup, crab salad Turkey, potatoes and of course Auntie Jan's cookies and candies.

New traditions have also started my daughter and I made a gingerbread house this year (something that doesn't exist in Italy) and we all go for a family Christmas pedicure grandpa and kiddo included! We also went on the holiday carousel downtown after seeing Santa and out for holiday lunch with my sisters and mom. Christmas afternoon also includes a family movie although this year it was sold out.

I miss these traditions when I am in Italy although I am happy to be with my husband. In Italy there are different traditions. On Christmas Eve there are only seven of us. My husband, my daughter and me plus my in-laws and husband's grandmother. (basically the same thing as any old Sunday lunch) Catholics don't eat meat on holiday eves so we have fish (yuck) nothing like having spaghetti and tuna with fried fish to ruin your Christmas eve! The tree is very small and the house isn't decorated for Christmas. Last year I decided to make the best of Christmas so I gave my mother in law my old tree to replace her sorry holly bush that she was using as a tree, and a new Christmas table cloth with matching towel and apron. I also offered to do the dinner but was told not to worry, so I made halibut and green beans to add to the traditional meal. One thing that I do enjoy about Christmas in Italy is the Presepe vivente (or live nativity scene) and the mass in Civita. On Christmas Eve. Weather permitting we make the long trek up the bridge to Civita to attend midnight mass (which actually does finish at midnight) The church is cold and you have to be bundled up, but there is flute music played and the priest is wonderful. In the corner of the church is a very large nativity scene which is elaborately decorated with not only the manger but the whole city of Bethlehem around it. They sing Christmas songs and the priest talks about the meaning of Christmas.

On December 26th the town hosts the Presepe Vivente which entails decorating the entire town as if it were Bethlehem with craftsmen of the time, basket weavers, blacksmiths, bakers (with the old ovens fired up) a traditional market with live animals and cheeses for sale. The local people, including children dress up in elaborate costumes made by a local woman and spend the whole afternoon wandering around the town as if it were Bethlehem. At five o'clock Mary who is waiting at the bottom of the bridge is brought up on a donkey and walks through the town looking for a place to stay. Finally they find the stable where she is met with her child (Sofia and I played Mary and Jesus when she was nine months old). Locals and tourist wander through town eating traditional Christmas cookies, drinking wine and eating cheese. These are two traditions that I truly love in Italy.

Of course the years that I am in Italy for Christmas I have continued my family's traditions as best I can. I have a wonderful Christmas tree and I deck the halls (although not as well as my mom does). I make Christmas cookies and we have panettone and coffee for Christmas breakfast. Sofia always gets special Christmas pajamas and I usually wear mine from the year before. My girlfriends and I also have a holiday party for the kids where they exchange gifts and we have tea and cookies while they play. This year we had more of an Epiphany party because two of us had gone home for the holidays, and it actually snowed that morning!

In the end I am happy that my daughter has both experiences and that she can have two very different traditions to love.